Power over Alagasia
by Scorp890
Summary: Kind of a remake of a previous story, but better.I basicaly have the power to change what ever i want in alagasia, and i use it often. Characters are way out of character.Tenth Review gets to make a character. details in the story.
1. The Curse of the Pie?

A/n: Ahhh, nothing like sitting down, typing, and ignoring all of the red squiggles under my perfectly spelled wrods

**A/n: Ahhh, nothing like sitting down, typing, and ignoring all of the red squiggles under my perfectly spelled wrods. I'm back from my year long break away from fans I don't have. I have a new story, and it will probably fail before I get to ch. 3., but who knows. Anyway, here goes!**

**p.s. if you read my phailed Alagaesian modding story, this is a bit like it, except I have better things to mod…**

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SQUIGGLE!**

**P.s.s I write like this.**

**Eragon: HI!**

**Murtagh: Shut up. *slaps Eragon upside the head***

**If you don't like it, go away.**

**P.s.s.s**

**I will refer to myself as "Matthew" That's not my name, but…wait, is that my name? Well, if it IS my name, no raping me.**

**P.s.s.s.s **

**this story is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY out of character, so if you don't like that, go away.**

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SQUIGGLE!**

**CHAPTER ONE**

**The curse of the…PIE?**

Matthew: Well, another day, another phailed story… lets go.

Eragon: Hello, my name is Eragon, and I like pie.

Murtagh: Hi, I'm Murtagh, and this is my idiot brother Eragon.

Eragon: I'm NOT an idiot!

Murtagh: Yes, you are.

Eragon: no, I'm not!

Matthew: yes, you are.

Eragon: No, I'm…duh…

Matthew: Whoops… shouldn't have said that.

Murtagh: Whoa, how'd you do that?

Matthew: I'm the God of this world.*chokes*

REAL GOD/Christopher Paolini: Aren't you forgetting something?

Matthew:*ack* oh *cough* yeah*

**Disclaimer: I do not own Eragon, Eldest, or Brisingr. Great job on the new one if you're reading this Christopher!**

Matthew: *breaths**gasp* ok, note to self, NEVER FORGET THE DISCLAIMER!

Murtagh: yeah, that's a good idea.

Eragon: lalalala…

Matthew: uh, should I change him back?

Murtagh: nah, it can wait till tomorrow.

Matthew: ok…

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SQUIGGLE!**

**4:00**

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SQUIGGLE!**

Eragon: lalalalala OH MY GOSH!!!!!

Oromis: what?

Eragon: IT"S A PIECE OF PIE!

Oromis: …

Eragon: I. MUST. EAT. IT!*runs over to the Mile in Diameter Pie* OM NOM NOM NOM~

Oromis: Whoa! Eragon, don't eat so much! You might get-

Eragon: OW!

Oromis: constipation…

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SQUIGGLE!**

**5:00**

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SQUIGGLE!**

Matthew: So I said, why doesn't she just forget about the bucket completely, and just hug the elephant while juggling hippos.

Murtagh: wow that is the best logic I have ever heard.

Matthew: yeah, I'm-

Oromis: Matthew: come quickly, Eragon is constipated!

Matthew: What, that could, like, kill the plastic wrap!

Oromis: I know, that is why you must make him un-constipated!

Matthew: OK, Eragon is now not-***POOF***

Oromis: What?

Galbatorix: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I have transported Matthew to my castle, where he will never escape! Now Eragon will never be un-constipated, and the plastic wrap will die! For it was I who planted the Pie! MUAHAHAHAHA!

Murtagh: You put the pie there!?! You fiend!

Galbatorix: I know! oh, and your father called, he said he wants to see you, something about kicking the living daylights out of you, you can call him back at this number.*hands Murtagh a slip of paper*

Murtagh: Wha?

Galbatorix goes ***poof***

Oromis: Hmmmm….

Murtagh: Wha?

Oromis: Galbatortix's **poof** was all in lowercase letters…

Murtagh: Wha?

Oromis: That means his power is not as strong as usual… he must have used a lot to move Matthew to his castle…

Murtagh: Wha?

Oromis: This means that we have a chance to save Matthew, and save the plastic wrap!

Murtagh: what about Eragon?

Oromis: oh, and, I guess Eragon as well.

Murtagh: Then OFF WE GO!

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SQUIGGLE!**

**A/n and that's just the beginning. if you liked that, just wait, there is so much more I have in mind. If you didn't like it, then go away.**

**next part in aprox. 1 week!**

**p.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s. aren't ~'s awesome?**


	2. How To Not Fall Off Your Dragon

**A/n well, ignore that one week chapter thing. I got a review! And reviews are my power and inspiration! See, if I don't get any reviews, I get depressed and don't write anymore. But if I get a review, I write, and write, and write and…**

**Anyway, here is chapter 2! More random crap. By the way, I was rereading my chapter, and I realized exactly HOW random my story is. well, it's how I write my best, so, if you're reading this, then you must like it. What ever**

**Disclaimer: See! I didn't forget it this time! I don't own anything that has to do with the Cycle except nothing. I also don't own that song by Weird Al, because if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise.**

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Eragon: Owwwww!!! it hurts!

Murtagh: well, if you hadn't eaten the pie so fast, you wouldn't be constipated.

Eragon: But it was so, delicious, so…precious…

Murtagh: Whoa, you're starting to sound like some, weird, thing…

Oromis: I know!

Eragon: Laxative?

Oromis: No, l-

Murtagh: Lattés?

Oromis: no! Lets-

Eragon: Sing a song!

Eragon:

_Uh huh ... extra cheese  
Uh huh, uh huh ... save a piece for me_

Pizza, party at your house  
I went, just to check it out  
Nineteen extra larges  
What a shame  
No one came

Just us eatin' all alone  
You said, "Take the pizza home"  
"No sense lettin' all this go to waste"  
So then I faced

Pizza all day  
And every day  
This cheese 'round the clock  
Is gettin' me blocked  
And I sure don't care  
For irregularity

Tell me  
Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?  
'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated, in the bathroom  
I sit and I wait and I strain and I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain  
Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?  
No no no

I was feelin' pretty down  
'Till my girlfriend came around

Murtagh: You don't HAVE a girlfriend!

Eragon: I can dream…

Murtagh: and what's pizza?

Eragon: I don't know… I'm just reading it off this piece of paper I found on Saphira…

***holds up piece of paper that is stained with an unknown substance. That's colored yellow***

Saphira:_ Hey, I printed those off for Thorn!_

Eragon: Sorry, I like to steal things…

Murtagh: What's printing?

Saphira:_ It's when you-_

Oromis: can you please listen to my idea?

Murtagh: sure

Saphira:_ Sure_

Eragon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Oromis: never mind Eragon… Okay, I think that we should land in the midst of ALL of Galbatorix's soldiers, fight our way though thousands of men and magicians, kill a few shades, and rescue Matthew.

Eragon: Actually, I think we should tie cloth to our backs, jump off Saphira and use the cloth to slow our decent, use this custom made, projectile flinging device that uses magic to propel small objects I call bullets, at speeds great enough to inflect injury, land on the roof, and kill all in our way, then steal back Matthew.

All: …

Murtagh: I think that Oromis' plan in better…

Saphira: _I think Eragon's plan is better…_

*Friend of mine whose name I shall not disclose*: I think your mom's plan is better! Ohhhhhh!

Murtagh: where'd he come from?

*Friend of mine who's name I shall not disclose*: my name is *Name of friend which I shall not disclose*

Oromis: uhh…*push*

*Friend of mine whose name I shall not disclose*: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Murtagh: Where's Eragon?

All: *looks down*

Oromis: crap.

*Friend of mine who's name I shall not disclose*: soooo… what's the home work?

Oromis:*push*

*Friend of mine who's name I shall not disclose*:ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Saphira:_ Where's Murtagh?_

Oromis: Double Crap.

*Friend of mine who's name I shall not disclose* Did you do the extra credit?

Oromis: *push*

Oromis: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Saphira: _Where's Oromis?_

*Friend of mine who's name I shall not disclose*: uh…***POOF***

Saphira:_ I guess I should land…*lands on top of the roof*_

Eragon: There you are!

Saphira:_ What?_

Eragon: We've been waiting for you for hours!

Saphira:_ You have?_

Matthew: Never mind him, he's still stupid…

Eragon: but not constipated!

Oromis: YAY! the plastic wrap is saved!

Murtagh: What?

Saphira:_ But how did they survive the fall?_

Matthew: They didn't. I revived them. Murtagh was missing his head, Oromis's hands were on his feet, and vice versa, and Eragon… he got too much hw from my math teacher, so he died of the exhaustion.

**0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

**A/n really, my math teacher does give tons of hw. here's today's work. by the way I'm in algebra I intensified, or honors, or whatever it's called, so feel free to give me the answers. pg. 171-173 # 1, 7, 11-16, 24-30 even, 31-34, 37-43, 46, 47, 53-55. that's about average.**

**0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Saphira: _What's with the unneeded A/n?_

Matthew: I want my readers to feel my pain.

Murtagh: Readers?

Matthew: uh…never mind.

Oromis: Can we go home?

Matthew: sure.***GROUP POOF***

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

**9:00**

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Murtagh: Wait, if you can do anything in this world, why didn't you just poof out of his castle?

Matthew: Well, of course I didn't, because…I…uh…….

Matthew: Never speak of this again.

Murtagh: *lol*

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

**A/n, there's the second chapter of my extremely random story. really random… well, I should put up a new chapter within a week. I have to go do tons of HW now, bye!**

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.You have now wasted three seconds of your life. PIE!


	3. NEED IDEAS!

**A/n I'm almost out of that initial idea stream that I got when I thought up this story. I need help! Give me ideas! I will use them in the chapter after the chapter after this chapter. So basically, give me ideas, and you see them in action the second next chapter. just send your ideas in your reviews on this and the next chapter. Thanks! here's a filler story thingy.**

Matthew: I like pie.

Eragon: Shut up

Matthew: What if I don't want to?

Eragon: then I will cut you up into vey small pieces.

Matthew: uhh… I like pie.

Eragon: THAT"S IT! HYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Matthew: EEKKKKK! *SQUELCH*

Eragon: ughh….

Matthew: never lunge someone when they have a sword out.

Eragon: Owww…. where's my… BODY!

Matthew: lol!

PIE!


	4. Txting and Murtagh's problem

**A/n Hello, This is going to be a longer chapter then usual, at least 5 pages (on Microsoft Word) so don't be mad at me if this doesn't take my usual one day chapter thing. It's about… Txting! and some GH3**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Txting, the Inheritance Cycle, Guitar Hero 3, or anything else.**

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Eragon: Tra la la la la la, la la. Tra la la la la la, l-

Murtagh: SHUT UP!

Eragon: What if I don't want to?

Murtagh: *un-sheathes Zar-Oc*** (spell check! or…caps check…) **Then I'll make you…

Eragon: You can't make me!

Murtagh: *yells* Matthew? You can do anything right? Like bring people back to life?

Matthew: *looks up from his pron* Yeah…

Murtagh: ok, nice to know.

Murtagh:*battle cry* **AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

Eragon: EEEEEEK! *Squelch*

Murtagh: Nya ha ha ha ha ha ha! Die! Die! HAHAHAHAHA! *blood flies everywhere*

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

**A few minutes later…**

**0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Murtagh: Whew! OK, I'm done. You can put him back together. *points to a pool of blood and little particles the size of peas*

Matthew… What do you expect me to do?

Murtagh: WHAT!?! You CAN"T put him back together?

Matthew: Of course I can!

Murtagh: Then why did you say you couldn't?

Matthew: uhh…. LOOK! MURTAGH FAN GIRLS!

Murtagh: Where? AHHHHHHHH! HID ME! *runs off to his safe house. A bunch of girls run by Matthew with shirts saying "I 3 Murtagh" on the front)

Matthew: oops, shouldn't have said that… oh well…

Matthew: What to do with Eragon… Well, I do like puzzles…*Sits down and slowly puts Eragon back together*

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**3 Hours Later**

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Eragon: Tra la la la la la la la la la la la… wait, why am I saying tra la la la?

Matthew: You should be thankful you can say anything at all. That will be 50 dollars.

Eragon: What? But, it's not MY Fault! Murtagh was the one wh- wait, I'm not stupid anymore!

Matthew: I guess my words wore off.

Eragon: Thank God. Now I can accomplish something significant! *runs off to his tree house*

Matthew: *runs after Eragon* Wait! You still owe me 50 bucks!

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**At Eragon's Tree house**

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Matthew: … so, watcha doin?

Eragon: I'm going to beat Through the Fire and the Flames on Expert! WOOO HOOOO!

Matthew: That's your epic achievement? To beat the hardest song on gh3?

Eragon: What? Can YOU do it?

Matthew: uhh… errr… well, it's the intro I can't get past; I can do everything else fine.

Eragon: Well… bye!

Matthew: Wha?

Eragon: *Push!*

Matthew: AHHHHHHHHHH!

Eragon: I knew choosing the tallest tree was a good idea.

Matthew: Owwwww… I'm going to have to kill him la-

Eragon: **OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MY HAND!!!!! I CAN'T FEELS IT! IT NUMB!**

Matthew: I knew it would happen.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**3:00**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Matthew: Hey, Eragon? You there?

Eragon: Owwwww…

Matthew: Did you beat it?

Eragon: Yes… and I can't move my hand… can you fix it?

Matthew: No. Come on, get up. I want to make a visit to a random person.

Eragon: ughhhh…. ok…

Matthew: great, we have to go get Murtagh.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**At Murtagh's safe house**

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Matthew: Wow… that's a lot of fan girls…

Eragon: So how do we get to Murtagh?

Matthew: I guess we just elbow our way through…

Eragon: Can't you just poof him out?

Matthew: But then I won't have anything to type about! It'll just be like, "POOF! Murtagh's here!"

***POOF***

Murtagh: Wha? I'm safe? YAY!

Matthew: see, boring. Now, get back in there.

Murtagh: What! NOOOOOOOO-***POOF***

Eragon: ok, so we can just call him to come out, right?

Matthew: NO! don-

Eragon: MURTAGH! COME ON OUT!

Fan Girls: So he IS in there! GET 'IM!

Murtagh: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Fan Girls: WOOOHOOOO!

Matthew: …idiot.

Eragon: what? why? he's outside, isn't he?

Matthew: …let's go. ***GROUP POOF+MURTAGH***

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Murtagh: My bone is poking out of my elbow.

Matthew: So?

Murtagh: Can you fix it?

Matthew: No…

Murtagh: Fine, I see how it is.

Eragon: Where are we any way?

Matthew: We're in txting land!

Eragon?

Matthew: its where…stuff happens. I'm too lazy to type it to you.

Eragon: …

Murtagh: It's bleeding now!

Matthew: Ok, we're here! now don't touch anything!

Eragon: *touch*

Matthew: ok… just don't eat it.

Eragon: *OM NOM NOM NOM*

Matthew: Do you have to eat everything you see?

Eragon: no.

Matthew: well, eating that was really stupid.

Eragon: y?

Matthew: Because now you can only talk in txt language.

Eragon: wut? nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Murtagh: hahahah!

Eragon: its not funny!

Matthew: hey, laugh an evil laugh.

Eragon: ok. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL- Wha?

Matthew: oh…. that's funny.

Eragon: this sucks.

Matthew: Come on, let's go home.** *POOF***

Murtagh: Hey! he left us here!

Eragon: hmmm... quick! b4 he gits bak, grab a stick and hide!

Murtagh: What? Why?

Eragon: Cause I told u 2!

***POOF***

Matthew: oops, sorry.

Eragon: awwwww… I wanted to hit him!

Matthew: ???

Eragon: uh… nvm

***GROUP POOF***

~000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Eragon: is there any way u can undo tis?

Matthew: yes.

Eragon: then can u do it?

Matthew: ehhhh… no.

Eragon: WUT! Y?

Matthew: cause I'm too lazy.

Eragon: I h8 u.

Matthew: meh.

Eragon: *sigh* huh? OMG!

Matthew: wu- what?

Eragon: ice cream!!!!!!

Matthew: you know what?

***ICE POOF***

Matthew: now you, are an ice cream cone.

Eragon: *drip*

Saphira:_Hey look! a giant ice cream cone!_

Eragon: _Wut? ahhhh! nooo! don't eat me!_

Saphira:** *gulp* **_mmmmm that was tasty…_

Eragon: … lol

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/n DONE! I wanted it to be 8 pages, but I was getting bored on this chapter, and wanted to publish something. so you get 6 and an 8****th****. BTW! GIVE ME IDEAS! Send them in your reviews! also! The person who gets the tenth review gets to add a character! tell me the details, and POOF! this story has a new character! the 20****th**** review gets to be a guest in the story for a chapter! just tell me what you want to do, what powers, what no powers… what ever. and a fake/ real/ username. cause I cant call you "guest" the whole time.**


	5. Decapation and a short chapter

**A/n Sorry for the wait… school and stuff… Stupid Edgar Allen Poe… anyway… that's a lot of …'s… yea….**

**Ok, new, line! Find out what happens to Eragon! Or what doesn't happen… crap.**

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

**Disclaimer: I don't own *big breath* Eragon, Eldest, Brisingr, Facebook, The Police, Twilight… LOOK! EDWARD! , ACDC, pecan pie, The Internet, Google and… paper.**

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

**I'm a guy… who thinks Twilight is messed up… because *SPOILERS*****Bella kisses her daughter's boyfriend… *****Un-Spoiler* or so I've read…**

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Matthew: …

Saphira: _What?_

Matthew: You… you… you just ate Eragon…

Saphira:_ Hmmm… that explains why it was strawberry flavored…_

Eragon: Eragon is alive and not an ice cream cone.

***POOF***

Eragon: *muffled* yea! Wut? ACK! Can't breath… aghhhhhhh…

Saphira:_ Huh? What? Someone's inside me?_

Matthew: oops… Eragon is out of Saphira's belly.

***POOF***

Eragon: ugh…

Matthew: Sorry…

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

**At the movie theater… even though they don't have one…**

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Former Murtagh Fan Girl: OMG!!!!

FMFG: I kno!

FMFG: EEEEK! I can't wait!

Murtagh: What's all the- Ack! *runs*

FMFG: oh, we don't care about you anymore.

Murtagh: wha?

FMFG: yea, we only care about Edward now.

Murtagh: Edward?

Edward Fan Girl: Yea, the hottest thing evah! :3

Murtagh: what…

EFG: yea. So… go away…

Murtagh: What… *stumbles backward slowly*

Friend whose name I shall not disclose: Ohhhhhh! Reeeeejected!

Murtagh: STFU *SHINK*

Friend whose name I shall not disclose: ugh… blah… *dead*

Murtagh: *sigh*

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Matthew: So… how's life?

Eragon: …lifey…

Matthew: Lifey…

Eragon: yea.

Matthew: That was pointless.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Murtagh: *lying in bed, looking up to the ceiling* what's the point in living, if I don't have fan girls…

Murtagh: that's it! There IS no point! *runs to the tallest tree in Esmeralda*

*jump*

________

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|  my bad drawing of what happened to Murtagh after he jumped of. The hole is where he went splat.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Matthew: Hey Eragon, have you seen Murtagh lately?

Eragon: uh… no. why?

Matthew: Oh Noes!

*I run of- I mean… MATTHEW runs off to a big tree…*

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Matthew: Murtagh! NOES!!!!!! Now he can't take me to see Twilight…

Matthew: Murtagh is back being alive!

Murtagh: *blah* huh? Sh*t *takes out sword and cuts his head off*

Matthew: … uh… HEY ERAGON! YOU FEELING UP TO A MOVIE?

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**The next day**

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Matthew: So… what do you think we should do with Murtagh's body?

Eragon: We should…bring him back to life. *looks expectantly at Matthew*

Matthew: …*sigh* Fine. Murtagh is alive, again.

Murtagh: Ah! Ok, I'm not depressed any more. I don't need fan girls anymore.

Matthew: ok, that's good.

Murtagh: Ok, now, what should we do?

Eragon: Sky dive!

Matthew: Ok!

Murtagh: Ok!

*Matthew and Eragon walk off to the… dragon dock… and Murtagh…*

Murtagh: hey, WAIT! I CAN'T MOVE!

Arya: De Do Do Do, de Da Da Da, all I need to say to you… *sharp inhale* A SOCCER BALL!

Murtagh: What? No! I'm Not a soccer ba- OW! Stop kicking me!

Arya: Weee! Goal! *Power kick!*

Murtagh: AHHHHHHHHHH!

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Eragon: Hmm… Wuts on the laptop… *opens*

Eragon: Uh… Chat room… no, that story died… oh, internet… *click*

Eragon: hmmm… Google… Lets see… Murtagh's face smooshed in a book.

Eragon: Hmm… interesting… but… no. wait, what was that? *scroll up* Facebook? *click*

Eragon: ooooooooohhhh… *typety typety typety*

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Murtagh: Hey!

Oromis: AH! Crap, hot coffee! Ow, ow, ow!

Murtagh: OROMIS!

Oromis: Who said that?

Murtagh: Down here!

Oromis: *looks down* oh, hi Murtagh's head.

Murtagh: Can you put me back on my body?

Oromis: Sure! *schlep* There.

Murtagh: thanks.

Oromis: no prob.

Murtagh: la la la… *head falls of* … crap

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Roran: I invented paper!

Matthew: What?

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/n And that's the 4****th**** chapter! Short, and I didn't even use the pecan pie thing!**

**So, what do you think will happen with the Eragon and the Facebook thing? Send you ideas in your reviews and it just might happen! BTW, WHAY HAVE YOU PPLS NOT BEEN REVIEWING! I got a fav, but no review!?! Makes No sense! And the character contest is still going on! 10****th**** review!**


	6. OMG! The Internet is breaking!

**A/n after this, the only thing I will say, is review. So, review. Control-V x 25 = **

**REVIEW! REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**Okay, I'm done. REVIEW!**

**Short chapter… because of what Eragon did…**

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Christopher Paolini has made, Facebook, and the internet…**

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Eragon: *typety typety typety*

Matthew: Whatcha doin?

Eragon: Ima facebooking.

Matthew: … okay, how many friends do you have?

Eragon: 654.

Matthew: … I only got… *checks* 42… how long have you had a Facebook?

Eragon: errr… since 8:32 last night.

Matthew: … obsessed… ***POOF!***

Eragon: Call me what u want; I'll just go back to my 23 simultaneous chats.

00000000000000000000

**A/n I know Eragon isn't a girl who can multitask, and he's not that smart to pat his stomach and rub his head, but it's a story.**

00000000000000000000

Murtagh: *sigh*

Matthew: Hmm… I feel like I left someone alone… unable to move… for a while…

Murtagh: yeah, me.

Matthew: oh! Sorry! Murtagh's head is back on his head,

***POOF!***

Murtagh: *cracks neck* ah… tha-

Matthew: backwards.

***FOOP¡***

Murtagh: Huh? Woah! I can see my heels… looking down… okay…

Matthew: hmm…. Ice cream! ***POOF!***

Matthew: :) *lick*

Murtagh: you're hopeless…

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Eragon:*type*

Matthew: Eragon.

Eragon: eh?

Matthew: what are you doing? And don't say facebooking.

Eragon: I'm downloading all of the apps Facebook has to offer.

Matthew: Cool… how many you got?

Eragon: about… 500

Matthew: WHAT! Your going to like, break the internet!

Eragon: and… that makes 501!

Matthew: What! O G! T e n e n t s b e k ing!

E a o n: O o s. . . s r y. . . I k It w u d a p e n

Matthew: A H H H H H H H H H H!

0000000000000000000

*STATIC*….

0000000000000000000

**A/n so now, the insternst is breasidnfg. Its alls Erasgons faulfast. .. AHHHHHHHHKGDzsdfhes!**


	7. Your Radios are Active!

**A/n HI! **

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

**Review Replies! Now that I actually have some reviews…**

**To ****Miirkaelisaar****…nice (long, hard to spell, forcing me to copy and paste any time I want to use it in my story) name :)**

**Thanks for your comments. I appreciate them. And… batman… okay. You'll see some in this chapter. :)**

**To Ambrele… nice (real) name**

**PIE! Is all I have to say. Thanks for the comments! ~'s rock!**

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

**My replies are really short. Now this may sound weird, but I like to get hate mail.**

**Why? Because then I can post it up, and make fun of you. So, send in all of your evil thoughts! But only if you actually hate me. I don't want to think that a true fan hates me 'cause they sent in fake hate mail. Then I would make fun of you, and you would run away and cry. That's bad.**

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Inheritance Cycle, the internet, Facebook, House, and batman… yea!**

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Matthew: *static* I tink ta internat is bak on-line…

Eragon: YAY!

Matthew: Shut up.

Eragon: What if I don't wa- *Squelch*

Matthew: Twice in one week! That's a new record for you Eragon.

Eragon: huhhhhhhhhhhh…*dead…again*

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Oromis: What happened?

Matthew: Eragon downloaded to many apps on Facebook, so the internet broke.

Murtagh: Doesn't that make someone randomly radioactive?

Matthew: Radio active? *wavy dream transition*

Radio 1: Okay, let's go! One, two, one, two, one…

Radio 2: I'm tired…

Matthew: *wavy un-dream transition* whoa…

Murtagh: we should get one of those radioactivity detectors that click when you get near something radioactive.

Oromis: I have one back at my house!

Matthew: You have radioactivity detectors lying around in your house?

Oromis: Yeah, don't you?

Matthew: uhh… I won't answer that.

00000000000000000000000000000000000

Matthew: okay, everyone get in a line.

*Oromis, Roran, Murtagh, Eragon, Arya, and everyone else get in a line*

Matthew: Okay, *turns on detector*

Detector: *Oromis* click…

Detector: *Roran* click…

Detector: *Murtagh* Click, click, click…

Detector: **CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK!**

Matthew: *looks up*

Eragon: What?

Matthew: Murtagh, call the boys in the lead pajamas.

Murtagh: Right.

Eragon: What's going on?

Matthew: … Your radios… are active.

Dun Dun Dun Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-

Matthew: Shut up!

Sorry.

Eragon: NOES!!!!!!

000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Guy in lead pajamas: *static* Okay, we good down here. *static*

Guy in lead pajamas 2: *static* Roger. See you in the morning. *static*

Eragon is in a lead bubble.

Eragon: Hey! Can't I get lead poisoning in here?

Guy in lead pajamas: uh… no.

Eragon: Okay. *Dead*

Guy in lead pajamas: Oh… crap.

Guy in lead pajamas: *static* Houston, we have a problem.*static*

Guy in lead pajamas 2: *static*… this isn't a space mission…*static*

Guy in lead pajamas: *static* I know… but your name's Houston.*static*

Houston: *sigh*

000000000000000000000000000000000

Houston: Matthew!

Matthew: What?

Houston: Eragon died in his lead balloon from lead poisoning.

Matthew: Again! That's the third time this week!

Houston: Can't you bring him back to life?

Matthew: I could… but no.

Houston: What?!?

Matthew: I'm going to ask another guy to do that. *Whistles*

Houston: Huh? What's that music?

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na….

Houston: It's getting louder!

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na …

Houston: MY EARS!!!!

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na … **BATMAN!**

Houston: Ack! Batman…*faints*

Batman: I'm here to save the day.

**A/n sorry, Miirkaelisaar, I have never read a batman comic, never seen any animation show, or have the slightest idea what batman acts like. Except for the two movies I watched. So, sorry, but I'm going to make fun of batman. :)**

Matthew: You do that everyday, and you can keep a straight face doing it?

**BURN!**

Batman: Shut up.

**LAME COME-BACK!**

Matthew: … whatever. Just go save Eragon.

Batman: Of course. Off, off, and away! *prances off toward the lead bubble.*

**LAMENESS!**

Matthew: That was strange… Miirkaelisaar, you owe me one.

00000000000000000000000000000000

Matthew: Hm hm hm hmm… Under the sea… hm hm hm hm. Under the sea… Hm hm hm hm. Hm h-

Batman: Ack! My only weakness! Peanuts!

Matthew: Uh… you don't have a weakness. Your just a guy who dresses up like a bat, then goes around kung-fuing your way through baddies.

Batman: … don't defy me!

Matthew: what?

Batman: Don't defy me!

Matthew:… okay, your gone.

Batman: What? No! NOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO-***POOF***

Matthew: okay. That's over. The lead bubble is gone, and Eragon is alive…

***POOF***

Eragon: … I'm tired of dying. Can you stop?

Matthew: sorry, it would make the story boring.

Eragon: Story?

Matthew: uh… *lunge*

Eragon: *sigh* *dead*

Matthew: okay. Your radios aren't active anymore.

**0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

**A/n yea… so, that's the chapter. I'm pretty sure Miikaelisaar is going to kill me now… so, off I go! *runs away* Also! REVIEW! Remember! Tenth review gets new character! And if your all not reviewing because you want to get the tenth, it's never going to happen. If no one reviews, it won't get to the tenth review! And you can review more then once u know… so… think of something devious to make your self the tenth reviewer… I won't mind… **


	8. Deserts, Assassins, and Red bull yum

**A/n some one got stranded on a desert island…**

**I'm really tired of waiting, sooo….**

**Next person to review get to make character!**

**Just send in the details (name, age, and relation to a person, personality) in your review.**

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Inheritance cycle, desert islands, Wanted (awesome movie!) that… stranded movie with Wilson the volley ball, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Don't mess with the Zohan (I watched a lot of movies over thanksgiving break), red bull, and…Target. That's right, Target.**

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Eragon: Wha? What's going on?

Silence: *silence*

Eragon: … who are u?

Silence: *silence*

Eragon: Ah, your names silence. Funny.

Silence: *silence*

Eragon: What ever… *gets up* well, I'm not dead any more…

Silence: *silence*

Eragon: Will you stop doing that!

*silence*

Eragon: …

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Matthew: Ah… peace and quiet.

Murtagh: Matt! Have you seen Eragon lately?

Matthew: uh… no, I haven't. Why?

Murtagh: *hold up bow* target practice. *runs off*

Matthew: Strange…

**0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Eragon: Hmmm… I appear to be on a dessert island…

Eragon: oh look! A rock! I'll name it… Ethan.

**A/n sorry to all the Ethans out there…**

Eragon: Well Ethan, we both appear to be on a dessert island.

Ethan:

Eragon: What's that, oh. Your right. Desert island. I forgot the rule. Since dessert is good, you want more of it, so double the s's

Ethan:

Eragon: Oh, shut up.

Silence: *silence*

Eragon: You shut up too.

**0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Murtagh has been looking for a good target to shoot at, when he comes upon an old castle.

Murtagh: Hmmm…. HELLO?

Arya: Hi!

Murtagh: what are you doing up there?

Arya: We're a textile factory!

Murtagh: When d'ya start making carpets?

Arya: …1,000 years ago…

Murtagh: right…

Arya: we also kill people a giant loom tells us about.

Murtagh: ok… *cough*weird*cough*

Arya: come on, we'll train you!

Murtagh: ok. I'm bored.

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Eragon: ok, I have a fire in a cave. I kno how to catch fish. I can live here 4evah!

Ethan:

Eragon: It's not my fault I talk like tis. Matthew made me eat a mushroom.

Ethan:

Eragon: Oh, what do you kno. You're just a rock.

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Murtagh: so, where to first?

Arya: the repairman…

Murtagh: what's he do?

Vanir: I fix bad habits…

Murtagh… okay… you people have strange lines.

Vanir: Get in the chair.

Murtagh: *gets in chair*

Vanir: Now put your hands behind your back. Good, good… *ties them*

Murtagh: Now what?

Vanir: okay, now I ask… Why are you here?

Murtagh: cause I want to be a super assassin?

Vanir: …no.*punch*

Murtagh: …

Vanir: Why are you here?

Murtagh: I want to be a super assassin.

Vanir: *punch punch punch punch*

Murtagh: Why you do this? I feel no pain.

Vanir *breathing deeply* whatever… just go to Sloan.

Murtagh: The head guy?

Vanir: no… the knife guy.

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Eragon: you want your fish grilled or fried?

Ethan:

Eragon: Grilled it is!

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Murtagh: hmm… nice *big* meat.

Sloan: Yes… I'm the knife guy…

Murtagh: I see…

Sloan: You see, knifes are better then guns… they don't run out of bullets…

Murtagh: I know. That why I carry these. *shows an arsenal of knifes in his pants and and boots and cloak*

Sloan: ehh… so any way… you take the knife… no push in, like this.

Murtagh: Whoa! I could hurt you!

Sloan: no, no… just, thrust, like this.

Murtagh: no… you could get hurt.

Sloan: Ahhh… you're a pussy.

Murtagh: I'm not a pussy!

Sloan: pussy

Murtagh: not a pussy!

Sloan: PUSSY!

Murtagh: I'm NOT A PUSSY! *lunge*

Sloan: hah! *tries to dis-arm, fails* *shink* ugh… *dead*

Murtagh: … I told him he could get hurt.

Arya: *eye twitching*

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Eragon: Well… do you think we should try to get off?

Ethan:

Eragon: well you're no help.

Silence: *silence*

Eragon: hmmm…

Eragon: I'm going to go look around the island. C'mon Ethan.

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Arya: now, target practice.

Murtagh: finally!

Arya: *presses button*

Murtagh: huh?

A giant, dead pig is blocking the target.

Arya: shoot the target.

Murtagh: what? Am I supposed to shoot through Wilbur?

Arya: curve the arrow.

Murtagh: … ya! *twang*

*thump*

Wilbur: *ow…*

Murtagh: it's impossible.

Arya: hmm… *steps in front of Wilbur* Shoot the target.

Murtagh: naw… hya! *twang*

Arrow: *woooosh!*

Thunk!

Arya: …ow… *dead* *arrow in her head*

Murtagh: c'mon! get up! It's merely a flesh wound!

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Eragon: *digging* what's this? *holds up a Red Bull can*

Ethan:

Eragon: yes, I kno it's red bull. Well, I'm not thirsty. *dumps into ocean*

Ethan: !

Eragon: What! Red bull gives you wings?!?

Fish: yea it does! *flies off*

Eragon: …crap.

Ethan:

Eragon: I hate u too.

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Murtagh: Hey Matthew!

Matthew: what?

Murtagh: Can you say, "Arya and Sloan are alive"?

Matthew: You killed them?!?

Murtagh: uh… no.

Matthew: what ever. I won't ask. Arya and Sloan are alive.

***Revival!***

Murtagh: Thanks!

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Eragon: uh… all the fish flew away… no more food… hungry…

Ethan:

Eragon: well, you could have told me sooner.

Ethan:

Eragon: What? You hear something?

I don't know…

Eragon: yea… I hear something too…

Why you say good bye…

Ethan:

I say hello.

Ethan:

Hello, hello!

Eragon: you're right! It's a Target!

I don't know why you say good bye, I say hello. Hello, hello!

Eragon: we're saved!!!! Discount merchandise!

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

**A/n and that ends this chapter. Is the Target all that it seems? Will Murtagh become a super assassin?**

**Well maybe if you review, you would find out sooner! Remember! Next review gets character! Along with the tenth review. TWO CHANCES!!!! Wow. So send in your reviews!**


End file.
